Thursday, April 9, 2015

The Dicks From Texas and friends

The Dicks From Texas and friends is a great album.....28 Dicks songs performed by 27 wonderful bands.

First song on The Dicks From Texas and friends is a curious and scary take on The Dicks Hate the Police by a guy named Brian Winterman. Brian is a college professor in Indiana by day and a force to be reckoned with by any of these new country acts who put gel on their faux hawks and wear jeans with machine punched holes.
Hate the Police by Brian Winterman

This song was selected to open The Dicks From Texas and friends for a reason, to ignite a fucked up mood. This song pays off and opens a creaky door into a special weird place for the essential Dicks lover to go when he's been a bad, bad boy.
Dead in a Motel Room by The Bulemics
Dead in a Motel Room is covered by the Bulemics on The Dicks From Texas and friends record and opens up with a nice salute to Mr. Glen Taylor.

 They give that old motel room a good old shakin out and tie it up in a sweet package in a swell tribute to the Dicks.

Thank you, guys, for an awesome cover of Dead in a Motel Room for some of us who've seen a bunch of greasy, nasty low-rent dives but still like to dance.

Babysit by The Surlys
The Surlys do their girly girl hardcore jam on Babysit for The Dicks From Texas and friends. 
They threw Tobasco ALL OVER THE PLACE and don't care who knows about it! 

The Surlys are sassy ass in your face and do the song right...if Joan Jett would have been more like the Surlys, Toby Mauldin probly wouldn't have booed her off the stage at Iggy Pop. Yeah, man.

Song #4 on The Dicks From Texas and friends is Shit on me by Cunto! Rare is the time when a great live band captures that feeling on a record and they done it! Cunto! Cunto! reminds me of the Dicks in a weird way like fuck you world, just kidding hahaha! 

Shit on me by Cunto!
So if you want to hear a shit on me fuck you just kidding shout out to the Dicks, this is it. Commie rock with a mandolin? Cunto! makes you feel young and happy! Yay!

Fake Bands by Brewtality Incorporated
Fake Bands? Brewtality Incorporated covers the Dicks Fake Bands on The Dicks From Texas and friends tribute record. These guys don't mess around and mean it. 

Old school version of hardcore in and slap you around a minute then out. These guys school taught em that punk was rock songs under a minute and they learned it good. Lean mean version of Fake Bands one two three four!

Lifetime Problems by Black Irish Texas

Numero seis is Black Irish Texas covering the Dicks Lifetime Problems and boy, I mean problems. Not since Johnny Cash's guitar player found him passed out in a booth with a mouthful of Irish potaters has Texas and punk and mean ass country fused itself into a scary wild and wonderful exhibition. 

Just plain, wow...these guys do a bang up off the hook Lifetime Problems complete with problems and a side a cheese ha ha ha ha ha...haw haw haw haw haw....sucker!!!!

Shit Fool by The Beaumonts
 The Beaumonts cover Shit Fool #7 on the record. Oboy! Before these guys, back in Beaumont we used to go to Lady Long Legs after work and two step. One nite a guy threw the table my sister was sitting at over because she wouldn't dance with him. He said he could tell by the tension in the air what a SHIT FOOL everybody thought he was!

The Beaumonts manage to get those old beer drinking hillbilly sentiments all wrapped up in their genius cover of Shit Fool...guess I'll fuck this fool again. Last nite on the Grammys those new country people were making me sick at my stomach, so I turned it off and went and listened to Shit Fool by the Beaumonts and everything went back to warped in my crazy old country universe. Thank you, Beaumonts, for Shit Fool and making Beaumont a happy memry.

Kill From the Heart by Pocket FishRmen
Track 8 on The Dicks From Texas is by everybody's favorite Pocket FishRmen who cover Kill From the Heart. A triple Les Paul gold star for crazy pickups..come on, pig..gimme some bacon! 

Cris produced this entire beautiful and wonderful tribute record to the Dicks and I think he had a good time, right? It sounds like it. Happy yet, students?
Little Boys' Feet by The Gay Sportscasters

and the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line...#9 #9 #9....Little Boys Feet by The Gay Sportscasters. How can something so wrong be so right?

Hey, mister, you got any shoes? Smelling all those feet and shoes makes me feel like that Danny Partridge over there? Definitely the top forty Casey Kasum pick of the week, little boys.

Houston Bookstore by Poor Dumb Bastards
Poor Dumb Bastards Houston Texas Bookstore is a scary thing. They're over in the sausage aisle at Houston H.E.B. where there ain't no margin for error instead of Westlake Hills Safeway. PDB take hardcore to a bunch of other levels on Bookstore HTX like going behind the carny rides at the Beaumont TX State Fair. What the enthusiast wants on his Ipod for trolling piss bars and he'll be fine...just fine.

Right Wing, White Ring by New Mystery Girl
Oh my God...#12 is Chrissy Flatt and New Mystery Girl's cover of the Dicks Right Wing/Right Wing. They put a new folkie spin on this standard that just won't quit. For some reason, that sweet innocent voice really packs a whollup and some fancy guitar pickin brings it right on home. 

Hey, mothers crying in the street....sounds very sweet, but manages to get under your skin and bother even the toughest old bird. Sweet, just plain sweet..and our pick of the day for Valentine's Day.

#13 is Rich Daddy cover by El Pathos. David Duet lends his lonesome on'ry mean pipes like he means it..he must mean it, right? Guess I won't have nothing when I'm sick and old...for a teeny tiny surprise, Buxf (I believe, don't quote me) debuted his new stand up bass for this recording and word on the street has it there's a bunch of wild ass twirling and hijinks onstage when El Pathos performs Rich Daddy live. Can't wait to see. We are all little kids at the candy store and never had no rich daddys like the mean ass frats this song was written about. Where are they now? Who cares? Sing me that song, daddy.

Rich Daddy by El Pathos
Bourgeois Fascist Pig by Black Eyed Vermillion

#14 on the Dicks From Texas tribute record is a shout out from Black Eyed Vermillion who covers Bourgeois Fascist Pig. Oh boy, a Bourgeois Fascist Pig is not a fun thing to be when these guys get ahold of one. 

When they get done turning it every which way but loose, these boys get going on Nazi's with No Nazi's Friend for a big old double whammy finish. Be nice to Jews and gypsies, don't rip off poor people, kiss your momma and listen to this song again. What a great band and a truly heartfelt rendition of these Dicks classics. Yeah, boy!

No Nazi's Friend by The Fuckemos

OK, Nazi Nazi Nazi is my new favorite word. I literally go around saying Nazi Nazi Nazi in my deep Fuckemos voice all the time. 

When the dogs are naughty they get called Nazi Nazi Nazi and I can't wait to make a tee shirt outta this. LOVE love love the Fuckemos' version of the Dicks' No Nazi's Friend. It's so fucked up great. I'm addicted. 

Whoever thought Nazis could be so much fun? Yay, Fuckemos for making a great song even greater. I'm your biggest fan! Oh, yeah..numero 15 on The Dicks From Texas and friends. I think this is the best song for all us old ladies who rescue dogs....hahaha.

Pigs Run Wild by The Flash Boys

 Who would ever have thought Pigs Run Wild would make a fabulous pop song? The Flash Boys version turns this number inside out..and that don't make it right! But, it sure makes it fun fun fun to be a teenager again for a couple a minutes. Overthrow the government while you're dancing, right? Thank you, Flash Boys, for the great entertainment and keeping us young and frightening. Yay for #16. Fuck me, it's hard to read Soviet!

Suicide Note by Churchwood
Whoever thought a bunch of men in suits with church in their name could be so naughty? Churchwood picked the Dicks Suicide Note to cover and #17 on the tribute album. Weirdly, it's part of a messed up religious sounding trilogy right smack dab in the middle of the record. Suicide Note, a Dicks standard, sometimes gets a little lost in the shuffle, but not no more.

Churchwood is such a great band. Not to piss anybody off, but that Phil Spector wall of sound is all over the place. Whoever thought guitars, bass and drums could cook up all those sounds? Wow, just plain, wow. Take me home, Jesus! Ain't nobody checking out on this Suicide Note.

Anti-Klan Parts I & II by Jesus Christ Superfly
The second entry in our little religious mini-trilogy - Jesus Christ Superfly does Anti-Klan Parts 1 and 2! Starting off mellow and slow #18 Part II, Rick Carney's rich voice warns those nasty ass klansmen to get lost.. ........then a freebie, #19 Part I goes all punk rock for those old crackers that didn't get the message the first time! These guys drive it home and then hit you over the head with it again and I'm here to testify. Superfly!                                                               
Wheelchair Epidemic by The Jesus Lizard
A special moment in The Dicks From Texas movie is when David Yow talks about sitting outside Raul's and not being able to afford to go inside. Buxf walked up to him and took him down to Conan's to smoke a joint. David talks about being starstruck. David was in from the minute I started shooting this film all those years ago and when Robbie Jacks and me were gonna do a tribute album, David was in from the getgo....he really is a punk rock punk rocker.

They don't make em any punkier, any funner, any more artsy and Wheelchair Epidemic is The Jesus Lizard's contribution to our little dicks worship church # 20. I've always sang along hut hut, hut hut like Sgt. Schultz in Hogan's Heroes. I know it's not the right words, but it's so much fun. David has always dropped whatever he's doing even when it's in a hotel room in Paris with Kate Moss to help his old friends the Dicks..and it don't get punker than that. Thank you David and Jesus, too.

Saturday Night at the Bookstore by Doug Hilsinger
Doug Hilsinger took time off from his other gigs and musical collaborations to turn in a word for word version of Saturday Night at the Bookstore. I think Doug's Safeway in in San Francisco, but he still gets the point across loud AND clear. He's in LOVE with the Glory Hole. We all are!

Doug plays all the music and vocals on Bookstore for the #21 entry, but it sounds like a roomful of big old singing musical bears. Can I say Doug is not too hard on the eyes, neither? Looks, talent, personality and can he play that guitar or what? Scary good. Go fuck your wife, fuck your wife! I'm gonna listen to Doug Hilsinger sing Saturday Night at the Bookstore one more time on this righteous Sunday morning.

Lifetime Problems by Texas Terri and The Stiff Ones

 Texas Terri was in this thing from the getgo! Whatever was needed for the movie or record, she was all over..just like she does her music...with everything she's got. There's a reason she's called Texas Terri, cuz you don't mess with Texas and you sure don't wanna mess with Texas Terri.

Lifetime Problems was recorded way back on Tx. Terri's first record which she dedicated to Glen Taylor. She's been all around the world and is the rare breed that spent a lot of time in LA and never lost her Texas girl realness and attitude. She's the real deal and a real friend. So don't try to be her wife, that's for sure. You can take the girl outta Texas....#22 Lifetime Problems by Texas Terri and the Stiff Ones.
The Dicks Hate the Police by The Offenders
 #23 is the classic top forty hit Dicks Hate the Police by the classic punk forty oz. warriors The Offenders. How can you talk about the Offenders without a moment of honor for Mikey and Tony. I remember when these guys all first blew into sweetly recollected by Pat Doyle in The Dicks From Texas movie.

I love The Offenders and the Offenders you hear today include two new members and two new friends, Jeff Martin on guitar and Craig Merritt on bass. How can JJ still sound like a little boy is beyond belief, but he does. Rightful that they should have picked this song. Thank you are the real deal.
Shit on me by Mike Watt and The Secondment
twenny fo used to be chicken fried steak where me and Martha worked in Beaumont..but now it's Mike Watt and The Secondmen's cover of the Dicks Shit on me. First off, Mike Watt is a huge hero of mine from the old minutemen days and his lifelong friendship and collaboration with D Boon who was lost so tragically in 1983 and George Hurley.

I could make a whole movie about Mike'd be hard pressed to find a nicer fella or a more genuine honest and gifted soul on the planet earth and then can give that bass a whippin your momma would be proud of.

The Secondmen bring a weird industrial vibe to the classic and favorite Shit on me that used to be on Mike Watt's answering machine. Thank you to a great guy and great band, literally an American icon. Big fan.
LOve Love LOVE..where is the LOVE???? Right here with Scorpio Rising and this most wonderful rendition of The Dicks Love Song since that wonderful righteous night way back at Raul's when Gary and the Dicks recorded it the first time. Scorpio Rising #25 on the record with the Dicks Love Song.

No donny and roberta, but who needs em when you got real live seagulls like a love filled afternoon cruising the Galveston bay on a ferry boat. It's springtime and love love love is in the air, right Ms. Whitehair?

This song is so special and really captures the essence of the that even legal? Oh, boy. I cried when I first heard this song and have choked up a couple a times since. Play this one at my funeral right after the orig.

Rich Bastard by Punkaroos

Punkaroos features the first lady of punk-try music, Ms. Dotty Farrell. Somebody needs to mention while all those old sourpusses were writing about punk being dead, Dotty was still singing punk songs and coloring her hair bright orange.

Punkaroos cover a dicks song Rich Bastard for #26 and keep the dream alive on this record with Pat 'Dick' Deason on drums, Buxf Parrott on bass, Todd Kassens and Mark Kenyon kicking ass on guitars.

Couldn't have finished this record without Punkaroos and its true dicks and dick loving personnel...and off topic, you hadn't lived till you've heard Dotty sing Fortunate Son. how bout that for some punk, huh?

Dickhead by Pretty Mouth
once in my life i'm at a loss hearing this song #27 from Pretty Mouth leaves me quiet, my mouth dry and wanting to hear more from this band. Mark Kenyon, Buxf Parrott, McGoo and Glen Taylor's original song written by two of the dicks and played with two other dicks is the next to last entry in the tribute.

Tribute it is..scary wonderful guitar from Glen Taylor is just haunting in every sense of the word. He was surrounded by his best friends in this life making music, great music. and that's how it should be...this song preciously tucked into a nest of the best music I've heard in a long long time. He would be so happy to know how many people and musicians remember the dicks and have given their time and talent to making this album. Pretty Mouth.
Guilbeau 2 by Garish

so the final contribution is #28 by Garish...Gary Floyd...which makes a perfect closing number. Just like Gary having a cherry on the ice cream cone. How perfect to have Gary doing a spoken word cover of Guilbeau with crazy beatnik percussion. Now everyone is here just like a perfect little world for all of us who love the dicks. how sweet...bee nice.

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